Of Course They Found Whitey Bulger in Santa Monica

It's funny that the FBI found infamous Boston mobster Whitey Bulger in Santa Monica because it's the first place you would look in the Los Angeles area for a Boston transplant.

For some reason, Bostonians are really attracted to that area.  It's like a moth to a flame, and apparently Bulger was no exception as he's been living there since 1999.

At first glance it seems likes a pretty stupid place to hide, but maybe that's why it was so great.

With tons of other Bostonians in the area,  he was just another guy with a strong Boston accent living in Santa Monica.  Nothing unusual about that.

I'm only surprised that the FBI didn't catch Bulger in Sonny McLean's, the notable Boston sports bar in Santa Monica.

The Return of Return of the Mack

It's the return of the mack once again as an artist has decided to cover Mark Morrison's 1996 hit song "Return of Mack."

The cover version renamed "The Mack" by some guy called Mann and featuring Snoop Dogg is an awful auto-tuned mess that pales in comparison to the original.

I just don't get why anyone would feel the need to make a new version of "Return of the Mack."

I appreciate the song, but it's not exactly a masterpiece.   People must really be running out of ideas when they're resorting to this.

And if you listen to the lyrics of "Return of the Mack"  they don't make much sense.

For a guy who was allegedly a mack,  he spent a lot of time whining about a woman lying to him and crying instead of macking.

Mark Morrison is British though, so maybe that's how the British define macking.

Do it for Mom HIV Test Billboard

The same people who brought us this bizarre billboard have put up another equally perplexing HIV test billboard.

Apparently we should all be inspired to get an HIV test in honor of our mothers, which makes no sense at all.

I don't think a lot of mothers would be thrilled to hear their child say, "Hey,  I was thinking about you so I got a free HIV test."

Besides your mother being offended, it probably results in an unsettling conversation about why you think you need an HIV test.

One that might include your mother wanting to repeat a safe sex speech she gave you as a teenager that was so awkward you've tried to block it out.

Finally,  it's somewhat disturbing that a person's thought process would jump from a life threatening virus usually contracted through having unprotected sex or using dirty needles to their mother.

Cheryl Cole's Brief Time in America: a Blessing in Disguise

Everybody knows by now, Cheryl Cole's experience in America didn't go as well as planned as she was unceremoniously axed from  "X Factor."  Cole barely lasted a week.

I'm still surprised that Cole's introduction was such a disaster.

The whole situation with Fox was like watching a father give his daughter a bike with training wheels but then change his mind and push his daughter off the bike.

But I've come to the conclusion that maybe Cole's brief time in America was a good thing.  Cole might have been another British thing that America ruined.

America doesn't exactly have the best track record importing British culture.

Sure it got "The Office" right, but they absolutely messed up British TV shows like "Coupling" and "Skins."

There's a tendency to adapt or americanize these things that usually backfires.   Taking out all the British influence  usually detracts from the original product.

"American Idol" wouldn't have succeeded if they told Simon Cowell to tone down his blunt British behavior and accent.

It seemed like Cole was going down this path as Fox allegedly wanted her to get rid of her accent,  lose weight and change her style.  

For all we know, this could have ruined her appeal and made her another generic American pop star.

Even if Cole had succeeded in becoming popular in the U.S., there was the risk of her getting overexposed.

It might have been too much of a good thing.  Besides there's a certain appeal to something that's foreign and not commonplace.

Look at Victoria Beckham, she was a lot more interesting to Americans before she lived here full time.

The most important thing is that all this reasoning makes me much feel better about Cheryl Cole finally coming to America then leaving so quickly.

Foreign Titles for American Movies

Movie titles are pretty important as they serve as a kind of introduction to a movie.

They can make a negative or positive first impression on an audience and often provide an indication of the genre and subject of a movie.

I don't think people would love "Pretty Woman" as much if it was called "LA Prostitute" or "Dirty Dancing" if it was named "Statutory Rape Dancing."

Obviously movie studios put a lot of thought into these titles, which is why it's always interesting to see how American film titles sometimes change in foreign countries.

A major difference with foreign titles is that subtlety goes completely out the window.

Forget being clever,  foreign audiences apparently want to know exactly what they're getting even if the title gives away some of the plot.

For instance, the American titled "Adventures in Babysitting" (an underrated classic) gets changed to "A Night on the Town" in the United Kingdom.

It does away with any cleverness to just describe what happens in the movie as simply as possible.  Yet it completely fails to mention babysitting which is the whole point of the movie.

In addition, the U.K. title spoils that most of the plot takes place in the city despite starting out in the suburbs.

Not to mention, it might mislead people into thinking the movie's about prostitutes if they see it on late night TV.

But even that title isn't as bad as the U.K. "Mighty Ducks" title of "Mighty Ducks Are the Champions."  Could you be anymore blunt about what happens?  Besides I prefer the German title "Mighty Ducks - Das Superteam."

Movie titles really get lost in translation in France.  My friend was there in 1999 when he noticed that the forgettable movie "Chill Factor" starring Cuba Gooding Jr. was playing at a movie theater.

Except its French title was "50 degres Fahrenheit."  It is relevant to the movie, but I think it's more "Oh those crazy Americans and their crazy use of Fahrenheit."

At least that's better than the offensive French title of "Rasta Rocket" for "Cool Runnings."  I bet their second choice was "Four Black Guys in a Bobsled."

Even "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" isn't immune to a  foreign title change.  In Spain it's called "All in One Day" and in Argentina it's known as "An Expert in Fun."

Foreign countries should just keep the American movie titles because it's for the best.

I'm actually shocked that "Philadelphia"  kept its title in foreign markets because I thought for sure that would be too vague and some country would rename it "AIDS."

Jesse Heiman Really Does Want to be Jonah Hill

Back in September, I wrote about Jesse Heiman the ubiquitous background actor in TV and film.

Since then,  he's gained notoriety through a youtube video showcasing his numerous appearances.

In my post, I mentioned that he was kind of like a poor man's Jonah Hill.

Apparently I was right about that as Heiman said something similar in an April interview with The Guardian. 

"I'm a character actor... I think I could become one of the great character actors like Jonah Hill."

I was also correct in thinking that Heiman doesn't like Hill.   He met Hill once on a set, and thought Hill was a jerk.  

If I were Hill,  I'd watch my back because Heiman wants his career and will cut him.

Offensive Hair Cubed Yarmulke Commercial

I don't think I'm going out on a limb by saying that marginalizing the Jewish faith in an offensive way is not the best way to sell your awful product.

Add that to the high school production value as well as the poor acting and you have one really bad commercial.

I also don't understand why you would tell someone that you're using a hair replacement product when the whole point is to make it look like it's your real hair.

But apparently that's what sketchy guys who hang out in the park all day do.

Although maybe the whole point was to make it so inappropriate and bad that you remember the commercial.