What the Hell is a She Wolf?

Apparently Shakira has a new song called "She Wolf," but it doesn't make much sense to me. Especially after watching the video.   Where to start?  She keeps claiming "there's a She Wolf in the closet."  It's highly unlikely you could trap any kind of wolf in a closet, and it wouldn't even be a wise idea to do so.  How would a wolf even get in a closet?  Unless R. Kelly somehow got himself trapped in a closet with a wolf.  That's one freaky dude so I wouldn't put it past him to have some weird sex ritual involving a wolf.


In addition,  the video seems to indicate that a She Wolf is really just some slutty girl doing weird poses and dancing like she has epilepsy in a techno club.  Clearly, I don't object to Shakira dancing in an outfit that looks like there were moths in the closet instead of a She Wolf, but why would anybody want to call themselves a She Wolf?  You're pretty much saying there's an undercover prostitute in your closet who probably has at least five STDs that she'll unknowingly give to your boyfriend.  

A couple of other things you may have noticed.  There's a wolf just walking around the club.  I wouldn't keep dancing if I saw a wolf in the club because that would be one pissed off wolf.  Also, Shakira howls like a wolf during the chorus section of the song.  It's so unexpected and ridiculous that it's funny every time.  I can just imagine the producer in the studio being like "Yeah, this is good, but it's missing something.  Shakira why don't you bay at the moon like a wolf.  No... it's not degrading... yes it's for the song and not for me.  It's how you make a hit record!"  

Towards the end of the video, Shakira looks like she's just trying to prove she can rub her stomach and pat her head at the same time and call it a dance. Who does she think she is, Beyonce?  I thought only Beyonce was allowed to wildly flail her body and call it a dance.

So I still don't know what Shakira was trying to convey with the term "She Wolf," but I think we've all learned that you should stay far away from any woman claiming to be a She Wolf because it will likely result in an unpleasant trip to the doctor's.