If I can find a reason to mention Muppets then I'm going to do it. And yes, Sesame Street characters are Muppets. Don't be a smart ass.
That's why it's hard to believe that I could actually hate a Muppet. It's against my nature.
Although it's not just any Muppet I hate, it's the worst Muppet ever created: Janice.
You may recognize her as the lead guitar player in Electric Mayhem band on "The Muppet Show."
I mean have you seen her. Those freaky giant eyelashes and lips, over tanned skin, ratty blond hair, and general whorish appearance.
She's a disgrace to Muppets everywhere and her mere existence sullies the Muppets' good name. It only makes sense that she was created in 1975 because people were obviously too drugged out to realize what a horrible Muppet she was.
Just look at the people she compares to in human form. They're scary looking people: New York and Donatella Versace.
I know I'm not the only person that feels this way either. All I had to say to my friend last weekend was, "You know who's the worst Muppet?" then he immediately described Janice.
Unbelievably, there are people who actually like Janice. Instead of being angry, I just feel sorry for them because they love such a bad Muppet.
In fact it would be pretty hard to be friends with someone who liked Janice. I'd immediately question their judgement.
Wow, I've devoted a lot of words to the hatred of something that's not even real. It probably shouldn't matter this much to me, but it does.
I must be pretty obsessed with Muppets. There might be an intervention in my future.
I'm just saying if I had a time machine, the first thing I'd do is go back and make sure Janice the Muppet was never created. Priorities people, priorities.
I'd like to hear other people's opinion though. Do you agree or disagree about Janice? Is there actually a worse Muppet than Janice? Are there other bad Muppets?
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