Does Sookie Stackhouse Own a Pair of Pants?

I'm certainly not complaining that True Blood's Sookie Stackhouse portrayed by Anna Paquin always seems to be wearing short shorts of some kind, but it's kind of weird that she doesn't own jeans or any type of pants.

I don't think she even wore pants until two episodes ago at the werewolf bar and those weren't even her pants.  She borrowed them.

It can't always be so hot in Bon Temp that Sookie never needs to wear pants.  Besides she must get killed by mosquitoes because that place is like a swamp.

There has to be some reason for her aversion to pants.  Here's what I've come up with:

1.  Bill vampire hypnotized Sookie into never wearing pants.

Sookie under Bill's no pants spell

2.  Sookie can't hear people's thoughts if she has pants on.  Some people just work better without pants on .

3.  It's Tara's fault.  Let's be honest it's always her fault some how.

Girl you don't need no pants.

4.  Sookie doesn't have her clothes on long enough to justify wearing them.

5. Pants are actually the devil.  It's Bon Temps anything can happen.  It wouldn't be surprising if a group of evil pants starting killing people.

6. Sookie thinks pants killed her parents so she swore to never wear them.

7.  Nobody wears pants in porn so why would they in Vampire porn.

8.  Sookie turned every pair of pants she owns into cut offs.

9.  She was always getting blood on them so what was the point.

10. Although maybe it's a much simpler reason and like Homer Simpson, Sookie just hates pants.

Purple Drank and JaMarcus Russell

Oh JaMarcus Russell, you couldn't just stop at being one of the worst NFL quarterbacks ever.

You had to drag down the African-American community by playing to a stereotype and being arrested for illegally possessing a codeine syrup that's commonly known as Purple Drank when mixed with things such as 7-Up or Jolly Ranchers .


Purple Drank is pretty big in southern rap community as Three 6 Mafia's "Sippin on some Syrup" was actually about drinking it.

It apparently gives the user an altered state of consciousness. Although it doesn't matter how high Russell gets,  he's not going to find a realm where he's a good NFL quarterback.

Russell really couldn't have gotten arrested for weed or cocaine or something like that.  There's already an affiliation with black people liking Grape Drink.

Dave Chappelle's bit on the black kid wanting Grape Drink over Sunny D does make a lot more sense now though.



Here's the original Sunny D commercial.  That's how they get you, hook you on the Grape Drink as a kid because  Purple Drank is the adult version of it.

And, it's now clear that the Flaming Moe must have been a version of Purple Drank because its key ingredient was Krusty Brand Cough Syrup which turned the drink purple and made people act unusual.

Once again, everything in life comes back to "The Simpsons."