Betty Francis and Bugles

I hate to say I told you so, but Betty Francis eating Bugles on this week's "Mad Men" just proves my point about the lameness of Bugles.

If Betty is the face for liking your product, then you're in trouble.  Many people consider her the worst character on "Mad Men" and despise her.

Bugles took away the one thing she always had going for her: looks.  There's no doubt that excessive Bugle consumption played a part in making Betty fat.

Eating Bugles on a couch is a person's white flag that he or she has given up on life or certain standards of life.

I'd also argue it's a red flag because there's really not a good reason to be doing that.

Although, it makes sense that Betty would enjoy Bugles.  It's a fundamentally flawed snack for a fundamentally flawed person.

Both seem like they should be a lot better than they actually are, and creepy kid Glen Bishop probably became as obsessed with Bugles as he was with her.

Plus, Betty can put them on her fingers when she's being a mean witch to her children to get the full effect.

Does Anybody Like Bugles?

Bugles are another one of those food products that makes me wonder why they still exist and who eats them.  They're the Rolos of snack food.

Allegedly there are people that like them, but I've never met one.  Even a friend who puts them out at his annual party says that he gets them more out of family tradition than actually enjoying them.

Judging by how full they usually stay, I don't think other people have a strong affinity for them either.

Bugles are like the Switzerland of snack food because they're neutral .  Nobody really says, "I love Bugles" or "I really hate Bugles." Instead most people agree they're just okay.

It's probably because Bugles don't exactly taste awful, but they don't taste good.  If anything, the taste is kind of forgettable.

The most emotion Bugles elicit are phases such as "Wow, I didn't know they still sell Bugles. Weird," and "Why is there a six year old box/bag of Bugles in the back of the cabinet?"

When the most popular use for your product involves people putting them on their fingers and pretending they have long witch nails,  then it's fundamentally failed as a snack food.