Betty Francis and Bugles

I hate to say I told you so, but Betty Francis eating Bugles on this week's "Mad Men" just proves my point about the lameness of Bugles.

If Betty is the face for liking your product, then you're in trouble.  Many people consider her the worst character on "Mad Men" and despise her.

Bugles took away the one thing she always had going for her: looks.  There's no doubt that excessive Bugle consumption played a part in making Betty fat.

Eating Bugles on a couch is a person's white flag that he or she has given up on life or certain standards of life.

I'd also argue it's a red flag because there's really not a good reason to be doing that.

Although, it makes sense that Betty would enjoy Bugles.  It's a fundamentally flawed snack for a fundamentally flawed person.

Both seem like they should be a lot better than they actually are, and creepy kid Glen Bishop probably became as obsessed with Bugles as he was with her.

Plus, Betty can put them on her fingers when she's being a mean witch to her children to get the full effect.

Don Draper's Off His Game

The 4th season of "Mad Men" has been great as usual but there's something that's really troubling me: Don Draper.  For the first time ever, Draper's off his game with the ladies.

This can't be happening.  The sun is yellow, the sky is blue, and Don Draper never gets denied by women. Those are all facts.

The foundation of my world is starting to crumble.  If this was "Inception," my totem would be Draper always beds the woman, and now I'm seriously questioning reality since he isn't.

I don't know if I can really live in a world where Don Draper gets rejected by women.

This is the same guy who pulled off the Spanish Stare in a restaurant during the 60s.  I don't think anybody had even coined the term for it yet.

If I was real, there's a good chance
 I could have been your father 

Why am I getting so concerned about a fiction character?  Because Don Draper is more than a character, he's an icon.  The ultimate man's man.

It's painful to watch him get turned down by women he would've easily bedded before.  Like seeing a Hall of Fame athlete get shown up by average players because of diminishing skills.

Instead of the typical smooth Draper moves, he's reduced to being that creepy drunk guy that's like "come on, come on" until the woman reluctantly agrees to go with him for some reason.

He's struggled to get women like (spoiler alert if you're behind in season four) his secretary and a waitress.  Old Draper wouldn't even resort to this and if he did, he'd seduce them in his sleep.

Even worse, he's resorted to paying for sex.  I thought that was as likely as Draper paying for the air he breathes.

Obviously the whole divorce thing has thrown him off his game.  Before he had the comfort of knowing he was going home to his wife Betty who was always more attractive then the woman he was cheating with.

Now Draper lacks that confidence and the allure of being a married man.

All his mistresses secretly liked that Draper was cheating on his wife with them because it bothered them for like a minute before they moved on.

But Don Draper can turn this around, he has to.  He's just in a little slump.  All he has to do is look in the mirror and remember he's Don f'n Draper or just listen to this song.