The Better Blues Traveler Song: Run-Around or Hook

I think it's safe to assume that most people only know two Blues Traveler songs "Run Around" and "Hook."  They were pretty much two-hit wonders.

If you know more than those two songs, congratulations.  You were either a real fan or someone who bought the Blues Traveler album Four in a fit of passion during the 90s

I'm sure it's sitting right next to your Chumbawamba and Tonic CDs.

On the surface, "Run Around" seems to be the better song since it appeared higher on the Billboard Top 40 chart and it's Blues Traveler's' signature song.

Not to mention, the rapid fire pace of the song is pretty catchy.  But more often than not, people have told me that they prefer "Hook."



In a way, it is superior.  The song's lyrics taunts listeners that even though it's spouting nonsense that its catchiness will draw them in, and "Hook" delivers on this promise.

Originally I believed that "Run Around" was the better song, but over the years I've concluded that "Hook" is.

At least there's one thing we can all agree on though:  fat John Popper was so much better than skinny John Popper.

Which song do you think is better?

Better Blues Travelers Song

Fleet Foxes Sing

If you ever find yourself thinking, this song would sound a lot better if the Fleet Foxes were singing it then you're in luck.

Fleet Foxes Sing blog takes popular songs and covers them in the style of the Fleet Foxes.

It's not actually the Fleet Foxes covering these songs, but it sounds so much like them that the group had to assure people it wasn't.

Instead it's the work of a New York-based music technology worker who The Guardian interviewed recently.

Regardless, it's amusing to hear upbeat pop songs such as Katy Perry's "Firework," Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance Somebody," and Katrina and the Waves "I'm Walking on Sunshine" transformed into depressing songs.

My favorite cover has to be Rick Astley's "Never Going to Give You Up" as the Fleet Foxes version makes it sound like the ultimate creepy stalker song penned by someone who's mentally unstable instead of a harmless pop song.

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Signs of Recording Artists That Can't Dance

Elaborate dance routines are hard so there's no shame in some recording artists not being able to do them.

But some artists, especially pop stars can't leave it at that.  Pop stars usually compound the problem by trying to use smoke and mirrors to hide their lack of dance skills.

If anything, it only draws more attention to the situation.

Honestly, I don't know why this bothers me so much but it does.

It's an Abed from "Community" like concern.   Maybe it's because I don't like to be deceived, who knows?

Anyway, there's always a couple of tell tale signs in a music video when an artist can't dance.

First, there will be a lot of back up dancers to draw your attention away from the artist along with convenient close up shots of the back up dancers.

That's not enough though.  The real key is having the artist do a couple simple moves he or she learned to make it appear he or she is dancing well.

This is further complimented by making sure there's only quick cuts of the artist dancing before cutting away to another scene or back up dancers.

Sometimes if the artist is really bad then the wide or arial camera shot is used so there's not a focus on the artist's dancing but instead the group.

Of course the heyday for pop stars pretending they could dance was the late 90s and early 2000s.

Record labels were trying to keep up with Britney Spears so every teen girl recording artist had to be a dancing and singing Lolita.

This was unfortunate for Jessica Simpson and Mandy Moore because they got forced to go outside their skill set and had to awkwardly dance in their music videos.

Moore's dancing in the video "Candy" gets spliced with shots of a guy skateboarding to try to make it look better.  No wonder Moore hates the video and can't bare to watch it.

Well that and all the inappropriate sexually innuendo the song and video represents.

Simpson's "Irresistible" video has to be the ultimate example of a pop star who can't dance.  The dancing is so bad, it's uncomfortable to watch.  It's like watching a drunk girl dance at a party.

Instead of hiding Simpson's dancing skills,  the video showcases just how bad of a dancer she is.

There's more recent examples of pop stars feigning dance skill as well.  Take for instance Katy Perry who tries to dance in her video Hot n' Cold.

Sure she tries to play it off as a joke, but that's probably because she couldn't learn the dance moves.

Then there's the video for the song "Come Hit Me Up" from the movie "Happy Feet."  Clearly this  Gia Farrell person can't dance, but since the song is connected to the movie she has to.

The video employes all the tricks such as focus on back up dancers,  the artist doing a few simple dance moves, quick cuts, and wide shots to hide her lack of dance skills.

The real lesson in all of this is that artists should take Phil Collins's advice and accept when they can't dance.

Songs I Currently Hate

My life would be much better if I never heard any of these songs again.  In no particular order because they all suck equally:

Anything by Ke$ha 
I've already stated my dislike of her or anything associate with her, here.


Jason Derulo "In My Head"
Is there any reason he always has to sing his name to start songs.  If this song was stuck in my head  then death would be an appealing option.  Amazingly managed to make a song worse than "Whatcha Say."


Trey Songz  "Say Aah" 
Say aah this song sucks.  And what makes him think that anybody wants to listen to a song that starts with him telling some dude not to move his car.


Usher  featuring will. i. am "OMG" 
I don't get why it sounds like there's a stadium full of people behind them.  Unless this song is secretly suppose to be a Jock Jam.


B.O.B featuring Bruno Mars "Nothin on You"
Every five minutes this stupid song is on.  It's equivalent to the ramblings of a crazy homeless man in Washington D.C. except the homeless man sounds better.

Stupid Lyrics: Young Money's Bedrock

Lyrics aren't always the most important part of a song, but it makes you wonder if people would still like their favorite songs once they actually sat down and read some of the absurd lyrics.

A good example of this is Young Money's "Bedrock."

Admittedly it has a catchy hook, although it's clear that several members of Young Money have a limited grasp of the English language.   The most nonsensical lyrics come from a rapper known as Gudda Gudda who says:

I like the way you walkin, if you walking my way

I'm that Red Bull, let's fly away

Let's buy a place, with all kinds of space

I'll let you be the judge and N-N and I'm the case

I'm Gudda Gudda

I put her under

I see her with me, no Stevie Wonder

She don't even wonder, cuz she knows she's bad

And I got her n-word

Grocery bag

I'm seen 3-year-olds be more coherent than this guy.  He should heed the advice from Jay-Z's  "Big Pimpin"  and "read a book you illiterate son of a bitch,  step up yo vocab."  This would be a good start. 

What hell does "you be the judge and I'm the case" even mean?  I've had jury duty and there's nothing entertaining or sexy about judges and cases.  Maybe Gudda Gudda thinks this is court.

Then he not only rhymes the same word twice, but mentions Stevie Wonder.  No one will ever confuse a talentless fool like Gudda Gudda with Stevie Wonder so he has nothing to worry about.  Even Wonder can see that he sucks though.

PS22 Chorus Sings Phoenix's "Lisztomania"

Kids from the PS22 Chorus sing a version of Phoenix's "Lisztomania" that even the band endorses.  Here's the original Phoenix version for comparison.

All I got to sing in music class or mandatory chorus were songs like "When you Brush Your Teeth" or "Buffalo Girls"

And that was only in between praying I wouldn't be the unlucky person called to the board that day who's forced by the teacher to stare at a blank staff for an uncomfortable amount of time because he or she has no clue what to do.

Naturally that's the best way to learn music theory, oh wait it isn't because I don't remember a thing.

The Next Big Sound

Have you ever wanted an easy way to figure out how much buzz a band is building?  If so, you should check out the analytics website The Next Big Sound.  By compiling statistics from social media sites such as MySpace, Last.fm, iLike, Facebook, Twitter, and Bebo to determine a band's or artist's popularity.


It's able to show how the number of fans, plays, or comments for a certain band increases over a week, month or all time.  For instance, look at the graph at the top of this blog which is based on Local Natives.  It's no coincidence that a sharp increase in the number of fans occured around March 23 because that was when they were playing at South by Southwest.

The Next Big Sound also provides you with amusing yet disturbing information such as Canadian reggae musician Snow somehow gaining 24 new fans on March 28th.  I can't believe there's even 24 people who like Snow, forget new people.

You can even compare bands to see whose fan base is growing faster, although it might just be depressing to see someone like Ke$ha having more fans than a real band.

Of course, the The Next Big Sound is really the ultimate hipster tool.  Now they can know exactly when a band has become too cool to like anymore.  Better yet, you could out hipster them by citing exactly how popular their favorite obscure indie band has become.

Local Natives - Gorilla Manor

I highlighted the LA band Local Natives and their "Daytrotter EP" in this space back in September.   At the time, they had finished recording their full length album "Gorilla Manor," but didn't have a US release date for it yet.

Well now, this band is starting to generate some serious buzz.  It finally released "Gorilla Manor" on February 16th and followed up last year's successful appearance at the South by Southwest Festival with another one at SXSW 2010.

The album lives up to the promise of the EP and even features all five songs from the EP (including an amazing cover of the Talking Heads' "Warning Sign" which I forgot to mentioned before).

In addition to those five songs, there are nine new ones such as "Wide Eyes," "Camera Talk," and "Cubism Dream."  Overall, it's a quality album if you're into their style of music.

I'm not all that familiar with Fleet Foxes, but I'm told Local Natives kind of have a similar same sound.

Check out Local Natives' performance at SXSW 2010 here and judge for yourself.

Boyz II Men Motownphilly and Lebron James

It's always a good time to watch Boyz II Men's video "Motownphilly."  Not only is it early 90s R&B in its heyday, but the video features the brightly colored sports coats and sweaters of the era as well.

It's clear that Lebron James must be a huge fan of this time period because he's single handedly attempting to bring that clothing style back.

Look at James at the 2009 NBA-All Star weekend in the picture below.  With that bright yellow sweater, I'm not sure if he's there for All-Star weekend or auditioning to be the new fourth member of Boyz II Men.  Hey, James has a deep enough voice to replace the bass guy who left the group. 

The new member of Boyz II Men

That's not the only way the video appears to have inspired James.  The pretend team pictures that James takes before games are quite similar to the group pictures taken in the Motownphilly video.

Does this mean the Cavaliers have joined Boyz II Men,

ABC, BBD in the east coast family?

Excuse me, while I run out to get bright orange/pink sports coat so I can be ahead of the curve if James succeeds in beginning back the early 90s.

Why Ke$ha Sucks

Knowing Kesha sucks, certainly isn't news to anyone who has heard her awful song "Tik Tok."  Kesha's whiny borderline retarded tone makes nails on a chalkboard sound appealing.  Since she's a high school drop out, she probably believes that's the correct way to spell tick tock as well.

Don't even watch the video for this song because it will only incite more anger.  The video glamorizes Kesha as some sort of vagabond prostitute that likes passing out in bathtubs.


She's definitely the chick that gets wasted within the first five minutes of a party, but keeps drinking until she becomes "that crazy girl" everybody's referring to.  Then she passes out in a corner midway through the party, and only avoids a frat boy's attempt at borderline consensual sex because she threw up on herself earlier.

Kesha's like a homeless man's Taylor Swift but only if this version of Swift happened to be really slutty coke addict too.

Kesha's a bizarro version of

Taylor Swift

Further proving the crappiness of her music, are her collaborations with terrible artists like Flo Rida and Pit Bull whose names are equally as bad as their music.  Putting a random space between the word Florida doesn't count as a name.  Your name is Florida.  Florida. Florida that's the name of a state.

Oh yeah and she's so hardcore that she apparently wrote a song for Miley Cyrus.  Even worse, Courtney Love has praised her.  You know Kesha sucks when a crazy and talentless person like Love says she wants to mentor her.

That's like asking Tiger Woods to give you marriage advice or using a schizophrenic homeless guy as a job reference .

Lastly, the douchiness of using a dollar sign in your name speaks for itself.

Random Thoughts on Virtual Insanity

A few random thoughts on Jamiroquai's 1996 hit "Virtual Insanity."

- Apparently Jamiroquai isn't just one guy, but it's lead singer Jay Kay and three other guys.  I've never seen those three other guys so they might not actually exist.  Maybe they're part of the whole illusion of virtual insanity.

- It must be pretty expensive to live in the Virtual Insanity apartment unless it's rent controlled.

- All that white must be hiding a dirty apartment because it's apparent that there's a roach problem there.

-  If you look closely there is a token black guy even in Virtual Insanity.

- Interior decorating must be pretty hard in this apartment.  It's safe to say that cheap Ikea furniture wouldn't be an ideal choice here because it would be hard to assemble on a moving floor.



- Where is the Virtual Insanity apartment?  Is it real or just something you have to imagine?  Maybe you can get to it, but it's like Alice getting to Wonderland or Dorthy to OZ.

- If real,  was the Virtual Insanity apartment based in Detroit and do we never hear about it anymore because like the rest of the buildings there it has been abandoned for years?

This is what happens when you abandon you Virtual

Reality apartment.

-  Judging by the way lead singer of Jamiroqui Jay Kay is dressed and the lack of women there, Virtual Insanity may be some sort of secret gay disco club.

- Seems like Virtual Insanity was as bad as Virtual Boy, the disasterious and short lived gaming console released by Nintendo in 1995.  Don't try to use Virtual Boy to make your own apartment seem like Virtual Insanity because it will only look like this.

The ill-fated Virtual Boy

- There seems to be a lot of white drawers in the apartment.  This leads me to believe that Jay Kay could be a serial killer who lures victims to his apartment then stores his hundreds of victims in those drawers.

Last Christmas

Wham's 1984 single "Last Christmas" has to be one of the best Christmas songs ever made.  A claim supported by the vast number of artists including Jimmy Eats World, Arctic Monkeys, and the cast of "Glee"(which did a version this year) who have covered it.

Although, the song should just be credited to George Michael's since he wrote it, and Andrew Ridgeley, the other half of Wham,  mooched off it.

The video for the song isn't nearly as good though.  No wonder the brunette woman gave away Michael's heart last Christmas because that looks like one sucky Christmas.  Who wants to go to the middle of nowhere to celebrate Christmas?  I don't see any presents either so I bet Michael offered his heart because he was too cheap to buy real presents.


The brunette woman Michael is pining for looks like one of Kristen Wiig's Midwestern characters for Saturday Night Live.

George Michael gave his heart to the 80s

version of Kristen Wiig

Even worse, his best friend Ridgeley is with the same brunette woman that destroyed Michael's heart the previous Christmas.  What a douche.  Ridgeley must be the worst best friend ever because he doesn't contribute anything to the group, and dates the woman that Micheal was with last Christmas.

It's clear that this a Christmas celebration planned by a gay man (Michael) who wants to minimize the amount of physical contact he has to have with a woman.  That's why he's made sure they're constantly surrounded by other people so he can be like "Oh no, we can have sex anytime.  Let's hit the slopes again or play another game of charades."

It's also likely that the brunette woman found about Micheal's true sexuality the previous Christmas so that's why she gave his heart away.  In fact, maybe the song's lyrics should be "Last Christmas I gave you my heart, the very next day you found out I was gay."

Cheryl Cole: Britain is Holding Out on Us

Let me get this straight, Britain has the hot popstar Cheryl Cole to offer and instead they give us homely Susan Boyle.  It's the equivalent of being promised a good toy for Christmas, but only getting a crappy toy from a drug store or the United States telling Britain that the most attractive pop star we have to offer is Lady Gaga.

To borrow a phrase from a 2004 song by overrated British rapper The Streets,  one might say to Cole or about her, " You're fit but my gosh don't you just know it" (Don't even get me started on how stupid the whole The Streets thing is/was).


Cole is a famous popstar in the United Kingdom who rose to fame as part of an all girl pop group called Girls Aloud that was formed through a reality television show, and she has recently started a successful solo career with UK chart topping single "Fight for this Love."  Watch it here.  She's also married to Chelsea and England national team soccer player Ashley Cole who was even stupid enough to cheat on her.

If you've watched the video, you know what we're missing out on.  She definitely fits the mold for an American popstar as she's somewhat talented, but really gets by on her looks.  In fact, she'd fill the current void of this type of popstar in America.  Besides Britain owes us, they haven't given us this kind of sexed-up popstar since the Spice Girls, and they weren't all that great anyway.

As a country that isn't always known for its good looks, one might think Britain would want to showcase someone like Cole, but clearly they don't want to share her with the U.S.

Maybe because she's considered somewhat of a national treasure in Britain, and they fear we'll steal her from them.  Hey, we gave back Elizabeth Hurley once we got bored with her.

R. Kelly Just Wants to Get You Pregnant

R. Kelly has done it again.  This time he has a song called "Pregnant," and it's as bad as you think it is.

You really won't believe some of the lyrics here.  Nobody demeans women quite like Kelly as he describes meeting a woman at a club and croons "Never felt nothing like this,  she's more than a mistress, bout to handle my business then put that girl in my kitchen."

If that's not good enough, he pounds the point home with a chorus consisting of him singing " Girl you make me want to get you pregnant... Knock you up, knock you up."

Link to song after jump.

You can listen to it here.

 I'm sure there's several steps to Kelly getting a woman pregnant and his various songs and lyrics give us a hint about the process.  It's the "Ignition Remix" so he's probably out on the weekend having some fun at a "Fiesta Fiesta" when he sees you on the dance floor and starts "Feelin on yo Booty" because he says "I'm a Flirt." 

It's clear to him that "Your Body's Callin" so this leads to him taking you back to his room because it "Seems Like Your Ready" for a little "Bump and Grind."  Somehow you get "Trapped in the Closet" where you're like two gorillas in the jungle making love.  Finally that results in him "getting you pregnant."

Obviously you wouldn't be a woman, but an underage girl.  The only part I can't figure out is if the golden shower takes place before or after the getting you pregnant part.

Although I think Tracy Jordan of "30 Rock" best describes how R. Kelly wants to do it with this quote.

I Wanna Sex You Up

Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up

There aren't many things that embody the early 90s better than Color Me Badd and their song "I Wanna Sex You Up."  It has it all: cheesy 90s mustaches, bad clothing and outdated technology references.  In fact, Color Me Badd was clearly the inspiration for this classic video.

Watching the "I Wanna Sex You Up," video is always funny for numerous reasons.  First, it's clear that they just watched a bunch porn and modeled their video after it.  The whole video is them having sex with women in workplace environments while two women can't get enough of watching it all on video monitors or on their home TV.  Tell me, that's not something right out of porn.


Also, in the beginning of the video some woman randomly says, "Yes, I will watch my videocassettes."  Who the hell is she talking to or does she just like to announce everything she's about to do before she does it?  So maybe she did say, "Yes, I will watch the Color Me Badd video and rub my couch sexually during it."

Technically, the woman doesn't even say the line because all we see is the text.  I have two theories for this:  she must either be a pretty bad actress because they wouldn't let her say that line or she doesn't speaking English well.  It does kind of sound like something a person would say in broken English.

We haven't even gotten to how outdated the whole videocassettes line is, and the woman only makes it worse by saying "videocassettes" instead of "tape."  Is she sure she doesn't want to use her Betamax player too? 

There are some odd lyrics in the song too.   Color Me Badd sings at one point, "Let me take off all your clothes, disconnect the phone so nobody knows." I think he forgot to tell her to shut off her beeper as well.   It sounds kind of sketchy that a guy would want you to disconnect your phone.  Especially a guy who seems quite determined to "sex someone up."

Better yet, I'd like to see him try to tell a woman  to disconnect her phone now.   It would be like, "Ah yeah, it's not 1991 so I don't have a land line phone and I'm not shutting off my Iphone."

Another perplexing line from the song is "We can do it until we both wake up."  That kind of implies that they're having sleep while they're sleeping, which is just weird.  I didn't think that was possible, but the internet claims that sleep sex is real. 

Lastly, if I ever went up to a woman and told her "I wanna sex you up," I'm positive it wouldn't go as well as it did for Color Me Badd.  I'd probably get slapped, laughed at, emasculated, and never be able to show my face in that place again.  Although, on second thought maybe it's not such a bad idea...

Stalker Songs

Michelle Branch in the middle of stalking

I was going to do my own top 10 list of stalker songs but this article already does a pretty good job as it features more than a few songs I would have selected.  So instead I'll just mention some more songs in no particular order that I think sound stalkerish.

 Radiohead -  "Creep"

Most Radiohead songs are creepy to begin with, but this one definitely has stalker undertones in it.  Then consider the lyrics "I wish I was special, You're so f***ing special."   I could definitely see a young Thom Yorke hiding behind some bushes as he stalks some girl.

Michelle Branch - "Everywhere"

At first this doesn't really seem like one but listen closer.  She professing her love for a guy that's either not real or doesn't reciprocate her feelings.  She even says  "And when I catch my breath, it's you I breathe."  There's a good chance she might bash your head in with her guitar if you reject her advances.

Weezer -  "Across the Sea"

There's a strong case for a few songs on Weezer's darker "Pinkerton " album, although Rivers Cuomo's song about his obsession with an 18 year-old Japanese girl is the creepiest.  Further proof is that he also has to keep reminding himself how wrong it is.

Death Cab for Cutie - "I Will Follow You into the Dark"

Let's be honest, almost every song by them can come off as stalker like because they straddle the line between emotional guys and crazy guys that keep following you around.   If somebody's talking about following you into the dark along with you dying, that's usually a bad thing.  Set it to a nice calming melody and nobody seems to mind.

The Cardigans - Lovefool

A song for the high energy stalker who seems normal at first then goes crazy when she gets dumped.  Behind this pop beat is a desperate woman pleading "Love me, love me,  I know that you need me, I can't care about anything but you."

 Coldplay - "Shiver"

Anybody who names their child Apple has to be a little off anyway.  Chris Martin has described it as something like a "stalking song" because he admits it was written for a specific woman.  The song even dares the woman to get a restraining order by saying, "From the moment I wake; to the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me." 

Piebald -  "The Stalker"

A lesser known group that just comes right out with the fact that the song is about stalking.  You at least have to respect the honesty and lines such as "I'll be in every smokey corner you've seen, counting your drinks." 

George Harrison -  "I Got My Mind Set On You"

Maybe it's borderline, but anytime you're singing about having your mind set on someone that doesn't want you yet in front of a fireplace,  I think that's in the stalking neighborhood.  Furthermore, the song proclaims "It's gonna take patience and time,  to do it..., to do it right."   Is it a coincidence that these are the very same attributes necessary to do stalking right?  I think not.

LL Cool J - "Hey Lover"

LL's habit of constantly rubbing his hands and licking his lips when he sees women certainly doesn't help his case here.   Any doubt about the song's stalker intentions are cleared up within the first two lines as the guy from Boyz II Men with the deep voice says,  "I've been watchin' you from afar,  for as long as I can remember. "

Londonbeat - "I've Been Thinking About You"

Just watch the video and you'll understand.  It's clear that that no woman would willingly enter into a relationship any one of those guys.  In fact, they probably made this video to send to the woman because it looks like it was produced in one of those places in the late 80s and early 90s where you could make your own music video.

That's my list of stalker songs, and keep in mind that Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me" has been excluded because it's so commonly used in Geico commercials.    Feel free to suggest any good songs you can think of, or that I failed to mention.

Bad Ronald Still Sucks

 
[Bad Ronald] - Let's Begin (Shoot the Shit)

If you do remember Bad Ronald, I feel sorry for you because you're taking up valuable brain space with something you're better off forgetting.  For those of you who don't, they were a rap-rock group consisting of three MCs (Ray, White Owl and Kaz Gamble) and DJ Deetlax whose only notable song was "Let's Begin" in 2001.  I was going to call it a hit song, but I don't even think it did well enough to be considered one.

After watching this video, it's clear that these guys were awful to begin with and only get worse with age.  It's so bad You Tube doesn't have the video.  Just look at these lyrics.  They can't even make the excuse that it was the 90s because it wasn't.    There's only one reason Bad Ronald was remotely successful: college kids.

I'm sure it became a party anthem for many college kids when they were like "Hey, they're talking about stuff we're doing.  That's awesome."  Let's call this the "Bad Ronald Effect." Although as soon they left college or got older,  they realized how much the song sucked which is why Bad Ronald flamed out so quickly.

A more contemporary example of the "Bad Ronald Effect" is Asher Roth and his song "I Love College."   Only people in high school and college don't realize he sucks because he's describing stuff they do or want to do.  Too bad Roth didn't have time to study history in between repeating cliches about college because he's about to be as forgettable as Bad Ronald.

Local Natives

I slacked on a Friday post so I'll make it up with a rare Saturday one telling you about a cool band called Local Natives. They're an unsigned LA band that I've been listening to a lot, but I only found out about them when someone else who saw Local Natives live gave me their five track "Daytrotter EP."

The standout song on this EP is the song "Airplanes."  You may have unknowingly heard it before because it was used on the TV show "Chuck" last season.   A BBC Radio One performance of this song is featured below.



The rest of the EP is good as well including my second favorite song on it "World News."  They've completed a full length album "Gorilla Manor," but I'm not really sure if that's readily available yet. Although you can download most of the tracks on the "Daytrotter EP" from here or listen to them on the Local Natives myspace page.