The Better Blues Traveler Song: Run-Around or Hook

I think it's safe to assume that most people only know two Blues Traveler songs "Run Around" and "Hook."  They were pretty much two-hit wonders.

If you know more than those two songs, congratulations.  You were either a real fan or someone who bought the Blues Traveler album Four in a fit of passion during the 90s

I'm sure it's sitting right next to your Chumbawamba and Tonic CDs.

On the surface, "Run Around" seems to be the better song since it appeared higher on the Billboard Top 40 chart and it's Blues Traveler's' signature song.

Not to mention, the rapid fire pace of the song is pretty catchy.  But more often than not, people have told me that they prefer "Hook."



In a way, it is superior.  The song's lyrics taunts listeners that even though it's spouting nonsense that its catchiness will draw them in, and "Hook" delivers on this promise.

Originally I believed that "Run Around" was the better song, but over the years I've concluded that "Hook" is.

At least there's one thing we can all agree on though:  fat John Popper was so much better than skinny John Popper.

Which song do you think is better?

Better Blues Travelers Song

Betty Francis and Bugles

I hate to say I told you so, but Betty Francis eating Bugles on this week's "Mad Men" just proves my point about the lameness of Bugles.

If Betty is the face for liking your product, then you're in trouble.  Many people consider her the worst character on "Mad Men" and despise her.

Bugles took away the one thing she always had going for her: looks.  There's no doubt that excessive Bugle consumption played a part in making Betty fat.

Eating Bugles on a couch is a person's white flag that he or she has given up on life or certain standards of life.

I'd also argue it's a red flag because there's really not a good reason to be doing that.

Although, it makes sense that Betty would enjoy Bugles.  It's a fundamentally flawed snack for a fundamentally flawed person.

Both seem like they should be a lot better than they actually are, and creepy kid Glen Bishop probably became as obsessed with Bugles as he was with her.

Plus, Betty can put them on her fingers when she's being a mean witch to her children to get the full effect.

The Hunger Games is a Ripoff of The Condemned

I bet you haven't heard that one yet.  Probably thought I was going to say "Battle Royale" like everybody else.

But obviously, "The Hunger Games" is inspired by the 2007 classic "The Condemned."

The movie features Stone Cold Steve Austin as a prisoner awaiting the death penalty in a corrupt Central American country until he's purchased by a wealthy reality TV producer  and forced to participate in a televised fight to the death against nine other convicted killers for a chance at freedom.

Spoiler alert,  Austin wins.  I know it seems so improbable now, but he does.

Clearly the author of "The Hunger Games," Suzanne Collins ignored the film's 13% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and viewed this film.

Then she realized it was such a masterpiece that she had to write a young adult version of "The Condemned."  It's the most logical explanation.

Let's face it, Katniss Everdeen is really just the female version of Austin's character.

I'm not sure Jennifer Lawrence can compete with the performance of Austin though.  Anybody who thought he couldn't carry a movie was dead wrong.  Sure Austin can, just not a good movie.

He really shines in the last 10 to 15 minutes of the movie where inexplicably there's not a a single word of dialogue.  I guess there's only so many witty quips you can fit in a 113 minute movie.

Hey wait a minute,  I think "The Artist" must have ripped off "The Condemned" too.

This Charming Man 8-bit Version

It should be a fact by now that making things 8-bit is awesome.

That's why it's not surprising an 8-bit cover of the Smith's "This Charming Man" combined with sound effects from "Super Mario Bros." called "Super Morrissey Bros." is so enjoyable.

Although if anybody's indie, I think it's Luigi not Mario.  Luigi just always had to do his fancy leg-kicking jumps in "Super Mario Bros. 2" and make me fall off the platform.

March Madness 2012: Pop Culture Thoughts

It's been a day and a half of the March Madness 2012 and here's what I've learned so far:

1. The longest anybody has ever driven for Doritos flavored diarrhea is 965 miles

Taco Bell wants to make sure we don't forget this by playing their new Doritos Locos Tacos commercial on a loop.  

It's convenient that they don't mention the trip back home where everybody immediately regrets eating that taco, curses this Nat Christiana guy, and realizes it's 965 miles until they get home.  

2.  TruTV

In March, everybody realizes that this station actually exists and scrambles to find it on their channel guide.  Despite being irrelevant the other 11 months of the year, it masquerades as the new sports leader.  You know, in between commercials for their usual high-brow programming such as "Lick Lizard Towing" and "Pawn Stars." 

3. Woman from At&t speed dating commercial looks like an android

That woman really creeps me out because she definitely looks artificial and acts like a robot.  Notice the crazy terminator like way she smiles and how she talks with limited emotion.  That's a Cylon if I've ever seen one.

4.  Now's the time to shill your gimmick food or beverage

Be it Taco Bell's Doritos taco or Mcdonald's Shamrock Shake.   There's definitely someone out there who's eating a Doritos Locos Taco with a Shamrock Shake right now.  What a combination!

5. All this talk of Shaka Smart and the Wichita St. Shockers reminded me of the rapper Silkk The Shocker 

No, that's not a mistake.  He actually spelled his named with the extra "k."  You might remember him from the song "It Ain't My Fault" with Mystikal.  Actually let's just go back to pretending he doesn't exist, I think it's better that way.

Clarissa and the Straightjackets - This is What NaNa Means

Clarissa can't explain this album.  In 1994, someone got the bright idea that Clarissa from "Clarissa Explains It All"  should have her own band named the Straightjackets and release a seven track album.

Not just any album though, one centered around Clarissa's horrible interpretation of 90s rock.

I should have stopped listened after the first track, although I'm ashamed to admit that I actually listened to all 35 minutes and 26 seconds of this CD.

It's like a car crash because it was so bad, but I couldn't turn away.

The tracks include a rocked out version of the show's theme song and a song meant to cheer up her friend Heather who's down because her parents are fighting all the time.

I wonder if this was what Heather's parents were fighting about.

Clarissa also has an affinity for name checking Pearl Jam as a comparison to her band.  She does it at least twice.  Sorry, Pearl Jam fans.

The worst part is that they convinced Melissa Joan Hart (Clarissa) that she could actually sing when she couldn't.  That's just a mean thing to do.

Hart sounds like the template for every contestant on "American Idol" or "The Voice" who thinks they're good but really aren't.

Like the rest of us, she must cringe every time she hears this album.

Denzel Washington: The Only Angry Black Man America Likes

With the box office success of "Safe House," Denzel Washington has cemented his place as the only angry black man America likes.

Just think for a minute how many movies centered around an angry black man violently taking matters into his own hands were actually successful at the box office.  Yeah, not many.

It's about as common as finding someone who actually watches "NCIS" or eats Good & Plenty.

But Washington movies such as "Man on Fire," "American Gangster," and "Training Day" were.  

Mainstream America paid good money to see these films in the theater.  It's not like they just watched them on TV.

Some people might argue that Washington isn't the only black actor that pulls this off because Samuel L. Jackson's whole career is based on being the angry black man, but Jackson doesn't carry movies.  

It's more like there's a movie and it features Jackson. "Shaft" doesn't count because it's based on an existing blaxploitation franchise.

Will Smith makes big movies although he's more of a goofy violent guy that cracks jokes than an angry black man.  He consciously stays away from projects that would portray him as one

Washington's feat is even more impressive when you consider there's still a whole demographic of people that specifically fear a violent angry black man.

What makes Washington so special then?  I'd like to think it's because he's not doing it for you, although it's not.

The key is that America trusts him.   The reason Washington can get away with these roles is that he's built up enough good will in his career that people don't see him as inherently threatening.

Sure Washington is ruthless in a movie, but in real life the public knows he's a good guy so it's okay.

Bottom line,  he's like the Dos Equis character of The Most Interesting Man in the World for the angry black man.

It's not often America watches films with angry black men but when they do, they prefer Denzel Washington.