Let Friends Point Out Your Flaws

Mashable details Failin.gs, an application that allows friends to anonymously post their opinions on what your flaws or defects are.  So basically it makes it easier for all the people who have a problem with you to gang up and attack you.

Just wait until junior high school kids get a hold of this, it isn't going to be pretty.  Those kids are ruthless. Allegedly, you can restrict access to this app to only friends, but somehow I think that's not always going to work.

Even worse, you'll get paranoid about which friend said you're kind of slutty or smell bad and start accusing all your friends. You'll be crazier than Russell Crow in "A Beautiful Mind."  That's not even counting the friends who'll get drunk and decide to be really mean.

I'd just assume it was everybody and kick ass like I was a blind one-armed man with a shotgun because that just sounds badass.

What You Should be Watching: The Inbetweeners

You should be watching "The Inbetweeners" because it's like a British version of "Freaks and Geeks" mixed with "American Pie" or "Superbad."   I know, I know another British show, but chances are you're not watching many British shows to begin with.

The half-hour comedy, which just began airing its first season on BBC America, centers on Will who must adjust to his new life at a public high school because his mother could no longer afford to pay his tuition at the private high school he was attending.


Will's task isn't all that easy because he's kind of nerdy and carries a briefcase around school.  Eventually he becomes friends with Simon, Jay, and Neil who are slightly cooler than him, but not much more.  Their group is neither on the lowest level of the social scale nor near the top so they're the inbetweeners hence the title of the show.

And the twist is that they're all vampires.  Just kidding, this isn't the CW so they're not, and I just wanted to piss you off.

Together Will and his friends awkwardly pursue their quest for sex and alcohol while making sure to constantly rip on and embarrass each other along the way.  Most of the time these pursuits result in hilarious situations.

Some people might consider the humor crude, but I believe it strikes the right tone.  It's comparable to what you'd find in "Superbad."  Besides, you can't tell me that this isn't funny.

Obviously it has quite a different depiction of teenagers than the other British show "Skins" I told you to watch in this post.  Both shows are good, but "The Inbetweeners" is a lighter comedy that focuses on how much of a process it is for uncool high school guys to get access to sex and alcohol where as "Skins"  is a deeper drama that highlights what crazy shit can happen when teenagers have too much access to these things.

It's also no coincidence that the show shares similarities with "Freaks and Geeks."  Creators Damon Beesley and Ian Morris, whose credits include "Flight of the Conchords," have admitted that they're big fans of "Freaks and Geeks."

Admittedly, I may be a little late catching on to this show because it has already finished two seasons in Britain, although that's only because my old computer was too slow to stream episodes online.   In layman terms, my old computer was a lot like Lindsey Lohan as it was cool in 2004, but by 2009 it looked much worse than it should have and barely managed to function in everyday life.

As with most successful British TV series these days, it may be adapted for the U.S.  ABC wants Beesley and Morris to create a pilot for an American version of "The Inbetweeners. "

You can watch the "The Inbetweeners" on Wednesdays at 9:30 EST/PST on BBC America.

All Sport

Yet another drink that nobody would touch with a ten foot pole.  In fact,  I doubt many people remember what All Sport is, or realize that it still exists.

All Sport is a sports drink that was created by Pepsi in 1993 to compete with Gatorade and Coke's PowerAde.  As we've already learned with Mello Yello, specifically creating a drink to compete with another company's drink is never a good idea.

Oh yeah, there's one more important thing: it was carbonated.  What kind of idiots make a sports drink that's carbonated?  Maybe people who like throwing up after physical activity?


I bet it's the same people who believe drinking Michelob Ultra after running is a good idea.  You can't even say they must have been drunk when they came up with that idea because no one could ever get drunk off Michelob Ultra.

I had the unfortunate experience of tasting All Sport once, and to quote Ralph Wiggum, "[It] tastes like... burning"(skip to 3:25 for that part).

All Sport's commercials were not any better as they portrayed ridiculous versions of sports in the future.  Steve Young and Jerry Rice should be ashamed for allowing themselves to do this:



If the future does really involve drinking All Sport, I don't want to be a part of it.  Wisely, Pepsi sold off All Sport when it acquired Gatorade.  Since then, All Sport got rid of the carbonation in its drink, but it won't taste any better.

Currently, the biggest name spokesman for All Sport is professional golfer John Daly.  That's not a strong endorsement because Daly would drink just about anything if he could mix it with alcohol.   He was probably drunk when he signed that contract and once he sobered up, he was like "Shit, what have I done this time."

I can best describe my feelings for All Sport this way: If somebody put a gun to my head and told me I had to drink either Mello Yello or All Sport, I'd take my chances with the gun.

Why Ke$ha Sucks

Knowing Kesha sucks, certainly isn't news to anyone who has heard her awful song "Tik Tok."  Kesha's whiny borderline retarded tone makes nails on a chalkboard sound appealing.  Since she's a high school drop out, she probably believes that's the correct way to spell tick tock as well.

Don't even watch the video for this song because it will only incite more anger.  The video glamorizes Kesha as some sort of vagabond prostitute that likes passing out in bathtubs.


She's definitely the chick that gets wasted within the first five minutes of a party, but keeps drinking until she becomes "that crazy girl" everybody's referring to.  Then she passes out in a corner midway through the party, and only avoids a frat boy's attempt at borderline consensual sex because she threw up on herself earlier.

Kesha's like a homeless man's Taylor Swift but only if this version of Swift happened to be really slutty coke addict too.

Kesha's a bizarro version of

Taylor Swift

Further proving the crappiness of her music, are her collaborations with terrible artists like Flo Rida and Pit Bull whose names are equally as bad as their music.  Putting a random space between the word Florida doesn't count as a name.  Your name is Florida.  Florida. Florida that's the name of a state.

Oh yeah and she's so hardcore that she apparently wrote a song for Miley Cyrus.  Even worse, Courtney Love has praised her.  You know Kesha sucks when a crazy and talentless person like Love says she wants to mentor her.

That's like asking Tiger Woods to give you marriage advice or using a schizophrenic homeless guy as a job reference .

Lastly, the douchiness of using a dollar sign in your name speaks for itself.

Cheryl Cole Coming to America

It's highly unlikely that Simon Cowell read my previous post on Cheryl Cole, but it seems like he agrees that Cole needs to come to America.  According to the Hollywood Reporter,  Cowell wants Cole to be a judge on the US version of his show "X Factor," which will premier on Fox in Fall 2011.

My reaction was something like this when I heard Cole could be coming here.  Yeah, that's really not an exaggeration of what I did.

Cole is already a judge on the British version of "X Factor," so it makes even more sense that she would  join the US version of the show.

Unfortunately, my happiness could be short lived as there are reports that Cole has already rejected Cowell's offer because she wants to stay in Britain.  Just insert the name "Cheryl," and this is how I feel about that news.

World's First Sex Robot

The London Telegraph reports about the world's first sex robot named Roxxy.  It costs anywhere from $7,000 to $9,000, and comes with five different personalities.

Its creator Douglas Hines says, "The real aim was to make the doll someone the owner can relate to." and goes on to state that "Sex only goes so far, then you want to be able to talk to the person."

Clearly, you could buy the services of a real person for the amount of money that you'd spend on the sex report.  They're called escorts, and that's exactly what Tiger Woods did.  Although his whole mess could have been avoided, if he had purchased a sex robot instead because they don't snitch.  At least, not yet.

In addition, I don't think anybody is really buying a sex doll because it's someone they relate to or hold intelligent conversation with.  It's a sicko who's so horny that he's will to stick his penis in an inanimate object and delude himself that it's a real person.

I'm just worried that people having sex with robots is the first step to a future like "The Matrix."  And how did the Japanese not create this first?  They're all about creepy robots.

Netflix/New York Times Interactive Map Show Most Popular Movies in 12 Cities

Netflix in a really cool collaboration with The New York Times have created a map that shows most popular movies in 12 major U.S. cities.

Using Netflix rental information, the map ranks the most rented movie and TV DVDs for each zip code.  In addition, you can see how Netflix's top 100 rentals of 2009 fared in each city through a color-coded map.

You could literally spend hours on this map because it's just that interesting.  More importantly though, it always you to make shallow and superficial judgements about certain cities and zip codes.



For instance, you can assume that any zip code where Tyler Perry's "Madea Goes to Jail" or "Family that Preys" is popular must be heavy populated by African-Americans who clearly love their Blackbuster movies.  Check out the map here.

Communities that show heavy rentals of films such as "Australia," and "Nights in Rodanthe" indicate snoody places with people who have awful movie taste that I probably don't want to associate with.  It's likely these people have never seen minority in real life so they won't be visiting the Tyler Perry area codes any time soon.

Of course, a negative aspect to this whole thing is that a sexual predator could probably tell which zip codes are full of teenage girls by looking at the map for areas full of "Twilight" rentals.  Quick someone call Stabler from SVU, he'll handle this then the captain tell him, "God damn it Stabler, this is the last time you break the rules."

Unfortunately, this map also convinces me that there's probably someone out there doing the unthinkable: enjoying the movie "G.I. Joe" with their favorite beverage Mello Yello and eating their favorite candy Rolos.

Random Thoughts on Virtual Insanity

A few random thoughts on Jamiroquai's 1996 hit "Virtual Insanity."

- Apparently Jamiroquai isn't just one guy, but it's lead singer Jay Kay and three other guys.  I've never seen those three other guys so they might not actually exist.  Maybe they're part of the whole illusion of virtual insanity.

- It must be pretty expensive to live in the Virtual Insanity apartment unless it's rent controlled.

- All that white must be hiding a dirty apartment because it's apparent that there's a roach problem there.

-  If you look closely there is a token black guy even in Virtual Insanity.

- Interior decorating must be pretty hard in this apartment.  It's safe to say that cheap Ikea furniture wouldn't be an ideal choice here because it would be hard to assemble on a moving floor.



- Where is the Virtual Insanity apartment?  Is it real or just something you have to imagine?  Maybe you can get to it, but it's like Alice getting to Wonderland or Dorthy to OZ.

- If real,  was the Virtual Insanity apartment based in Detroit and do we never hear about it anymore because like the rest of the buildings there it has been abandoned for years?

This is what happens when you abandon you Virtual

Reality apartment.

-  Judging by the way lead singer of Jamiroqui Jay Kay is dressed and the lack of women there, Virtual Insanity may be some sort of secret gay disco club.

- Seems like Virtual Insanity was as bad as Virtual Boy, the disasterious and short lived gaming console released by Nintendo in 1995.  Don't try to use Virtual Boy to make your own apartment seem like Virtual Insanity because it will only look like this.

The ill-fated Virtual Boy

- There seems to be a lot of white drawers in the apartment.  This leads me to believe that Jay Kay could be a serial killer who lures victims to his apartment then stores his hundreds of victims in those drawers.

Why Would Anyone Drink Mello Yello?

I was going to say who likes Mello Yello, but apparently people in the Midwest and Southeast areas of the United States love the stuff because it's the only place it's still sold.  Clearly that means these people will drink just about anything.

If you're not familiar with Mello Yello, it's a disgusting citrus-flavored soda that's was in introduced by the Coca-Cola Company's in 1979 as a way to complete with Pepsi's Mountain Dew.  In reality, it's the answer to the seemingly impossible question: "Is there a worst tasting soda than Mountain Dew?"  Yet it's like the mentally challenged sibling of Dew.


There had to be a deranged bet between a Pepsi employee and a Coke one to see who could make the worst tasting beverage and convince people to drink it.  Mello Yello wins on taste, but inexplicably Mountain Dew is the 4th best selling carbonated soft drink in the United States as of 2007.

Let's start with the name Mello Yello.  It's possibly named after the song "Mellow Yellow."  Anytime a drink is named after a crappy song you know you're in trouble.  Even worse, the first liquid that you think  as yellow is pee so you can't help thinking that you may be drinking bottled piss.  Based on the taste it might actually be.

Although I'm pretty sure if you distilled your urine properly and  drank it, the pee would still taste better than Mello Yello.   I suspect Bear Grylls from the show "Man Vs. Wild" is always drinking his urine because they gave him a choice between that or Mello Yello and he said "That's disgusting,  I'll take the urine."

Mello Yello knows it tastes really bad so that's why they used advertisements telling you to drink it fast. Most of the time you chug something because you can't stand its horrible taste.  Here's an Mello Yello commercial from the 80s:



The only redeeming thing about Mello Yello is that Tom Cruise's character Cole Trickle from the awesome NASCAR-themed movie "Days of Thunder" wins the Daytona 500 in a Mello Yello sponsored car.

Drinking Mello Yello says a lot about a person.   I'm not saying that I wouldn't trust someone or immediately dismiss someone that drinks Mello Yello, but it's not exactly the best way to make a good first impression on me.