This Creeps Me Out

Since I had the unfortunate experience of stumbling upon this and being freaked out, I'm going to make you suffer with me.  There's just something so creepy about live-action My Little Ponies singing show tunes.  

Any kids who see this are going to be traumatized for life.  The only thing Little Ponies should be are delicious yet cavity causing fruit snacks.

Cheryl Cole is a Free Woman

Besides being just another excuse to show this picture of Cheryl Cole, The Guardian reports that Cheryl Cole has left her husband, Chelsea soccer player Ashley Cole.  It's really about time as this guy has been stupid enough to cheat on her multiple times, which is ridiculous because it's always a downgrade from Cheryl Cole.

This also means that now there's a really good chance that Cheryl Cole will be coming to America.  She's even been spotted in LA viewing property.  Too bad Britain, we're stealing her.

We should celebrate this event or welcome her by doing something like this.  I'm sure she's really coming to America because she's noticed my campaign to get her here.

So Cheryl, you're saying I have a chance?

School Uses Webcams to Secretly Watch Students

Much like Rockwell, these students have to feel somebody is always watching them.

From Mashable, a school in Pennsylvania's Lower Merion School District is accused of using webcams on school-issued laptops to spy on students and their families at home.

The school even punished a student based on actions that were recorded via the webcam during non-school hours.


If Lower Merion sounds familiar, it should be as that's where Kobe Bryant attended high school and played basketball before he jumped straight to the NBA.

But back to the whole webcam thing.  It's safe to assume those students were using the laptops for more than just homework, and you know there must have been a ton of people stupid enough to look at porn on those things.

Therefore, this may be the first time that a student has ever gotten suspended from school for masturbating in his bedroom.  Maybe the official offense was categorized as "conduct unbecoming of a student"(sorry, it was too good to pass up).

Even more disturbing would be school administrators, watching hours of video of students doing things like this.  Quick, somebody call Chris Hansen to set up a sting in Lower Merion.

I imagine that the school must of taken their strategy from UB40 though.

How Do You Talk to an Angel?

Bet you didn't know that "How Do You Talk to an Angel" by The Heights knocked Boyz II Men's "End of Road," which at the time had set a new record for most weeks at number one on the Billboard charts with 13 weeks,  out of the top spot in 1992.

Yep, just let that sink in for a moment.  America should hang its head in shame for that one, especially since it's a theme song from a TV show, and The Heights weren't even a real band.


They were a fictional band who were the focus of a Aaron Spelling produced TV drama series called "The Heights" that aired briefly on Fox in 1992 before it was canceled.

Coincidently the song became number one a week after the show's demise.  They should have spent more time figuring out "How do you not canceled?"

"The Heights" was like the homeless man's "Glee" or maybe "Glee's" distant cousin that was a result of inbreeding on that weird side of the family nobody likes to talk about.  Each episode focused on this "band" and featured one of their songs.

The Heights lead singer was Jamie Walters or you might know him better as Ray Pruitt, Donna's abusive  boyfriend on the original "90210."



Judging from this, an important step in learning how to talk to an angel is beating up your girlfriend.  You have to get that angel's attention somehow.

Since I always seem to hear this song in the supermarket,  I'm going to assume that another key step for talking to an angel is shopping in a supermarket.  I could really use an angel's advice when I'm making tough food decisions.

An angel could tell me if I should get Fruit Loops (regular diabetes) 

or Frosted Mini-Wheats (diabetes with fiber).

Okay, I'm still not exactly sure how to talk to an angel, but if the song's any indication, it definitely involves a cheesy 90s saxophone riff in the background while I try.

Sweetheart Candies, No Thank You

Valentine's Day comes up this weekend, and with that comes the unfortunate presence of Sweethearts.  The heart-shaped candies with messages such as "Be Mine" and "Kiss Me" are synonymous with the holiday even though they taste awful.

Allegedly the candies' formula consists of sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, gums, colorings, and flavorings, but I'm pretty sure Sweethearts must be made of chalk because that's what they taste like.

Or maybe since Necco's headquarters are based in Revere, that's just the taste of Revere Beach water.


Sweethearts have a long history as they go as far back as 1902.  But, you're really going to trust the discriminating tastes of people back then?  They would have put sugar on feces and called it good candy.

I can't believe that anyone actually likes Sweethearts yet they're still around.  Mainly because of the gimmick messages on them, but last time I checked, giving someone bad tasting candy with generic messages on them isn't romantic.  In fact, it's sufficient grounds for dumping your significant other.

Although, maybe the real lesson here is that we need Sweethearts.  Constantly pretending to be grateful for this disgusting candy each year, teaches people how to effectively hide their disappointment when their boyfriend or girlfriend gets them a bad Valentine's Day gift.

Boyz II Men Motownphilly and Lebron James

It's always a good time to watch Boyz II Men's video "Motownphilly."  Not only is it early 90s R&B in its heyday, but the video features the brightly colored sports coats and sweaters of the era as well.

It's clear that Lebron James must be a huge fan of this time period because he's single handedly attempting to bring that clothing style back.

Look at James at the 2009 NBA-All Star weekend in the picture below.  With that bright yellow sweater, I'm not sure if he's there for All-Star weekend or auditioning to be the new fourth member of Boyz II Men.  Hey, James has a deep enough voice to replace the bass guy who left the group. 

The new member of Boyz II Men

That's not the only way the video appears to have inspired James.  The pretend team pictures that James takes before games are quite similar to the group pictures taken in the Motownphilly video.

Does this mean the Cavaliers have joined Boyz II Men,

ABC, BBD in the east coast family?

Excuse me, while I run out to get bright orange/pink sports coat so I can be ahead of the curve if James succeeds in beginning back the early 90s.

When It's Okay to Eat Food Off the Floor

Courtesy of SF Weekly, a chart that helps you decide when you can eat food off the floor.  It seems to be a little too preoccupied with cats and food so I don't like the direction it's going in.

Unfortunately, it doesn't even address the most pressing question: When can you eat candy off the floor?  For instance,  you get some Skittles and rip the bag open only for precious red Skittles to fall to the floor.

Do you attempt to salvage them at the risk of losing other people's respect or just move on?


The choice is that much harder for children as they've yet to realize that all Skittles colors taste the same because each one is full of equal amounts of cavity-inducing sugar.

Before you go all architect from the Matrix on me to solve this problem, two student researchers already determined that it takes five minutes on the floor for bacteria to show up on Skittles.

So next time somebody judges you for eating that Skittle you dropped on the floor, blind them with science like their name was Thomas Dolby.  Of course it's still kind of a social faux pas, so maybe it's a good idea to continue not eating off the floor.

Besides, backing up any course of action with a Thomas Dolby reference doesn't make the strongest case.

Kid Casting

From Kid Casting,  The Royal Tenenbaums

Do you ever find yourself wondering just how well a movie has cast the part of Jack Black during a flashback?  If so, you'd be interested in the website Kid Casting which features side by side screen grabs of the adult and flashback versions of a character in a movie.

The site could be more detailed, but it's still quite the amusing site and time waster.  You could spend a half hour looking through these things.

Also, it's a good demonstration of how little or how much the casting director cared about getting someone that actually looked like the adult actor.  For instance, they usually do a good job on Jack Black's flashback.

This is really good news for the guy whose life highlight was portraying a young Brad Pitt, but nobody ever believes him.  All he'd have to do is whip out his smartphone, and I bet some girl would sleep with him based on his work as a young Brad Pitt.  Well, unless he got fat because then she'd just laugh in his face.