Big: Piano Scene

Playing the Piano
Big at MOVIECLIPS.com

One of the best scenes from the movie "Big" is this one.  If you can't enjoy it then you may in fact be dead inside.

I'm still waiting for my moment to shine on a giant piano.

When it does happen, I'm not going to waste my time playing songs like "Heart and Soul" and "Chopsticks."

Instead I'll play the "Beverly Hills Cop" theme "Axel F" with a cool old black guy who joins in and is surprisingly nimble.

Then it turns out that I helped him rediscover his passion for the piano.  Not that I'll put a lot of thought into this or anything.  

Signs of Recording Artists That Can't Dance

Elaborate dance routines are hard so there's no shame in some recording artists not being able to do them.

But some artists, especially pop stars can't leave it at that.  Pop stars usually compound the problem by trying to use smoke and mirrors to hide their lack of dance skills.

If anything, it only draws more attention to the situation.

Honestly, I don't know why this bothers me so much but it does.

It's an Abed from "Community" like concern.   Maybe it's because I don't like to be deceived, who knows?

Anyway, there's always a couple of tell tale signs in a music video when an artist can't dance.

First, there will be a lot of back up dancers to draw your attention away from the artist along with convenient close up shots of the back up dancers.

That's not enough though.  The real key is having the artist do a couple simple moves he or she learned to make it appear he or she is dancing well.

This is further complimented by making sure there's only quick cuts of the artist dancing before cutting away to another scene or back up dancers.

Sometimes if the artist is really bad then the wide or arial camera shot is used so there's not a focus on the artist's dancing but instead the group.

Of course the heyday for pop stars pretending they could dance was the late 90s and early 2000s.

Record labels were trying to keep up with Britney Spears so every teen girl recording artist had to be a dancing and singing Lolita.

This was unfortunate for Jessica Simpson and Mandy Moore because they got forced to go outside their skill set and had to awkwardly dance in their music videos.

Moore's dancing in the video "Candy" gets spliced with shots of a guy skateboarding to try to make it look better.  No wonder Moore hates the video and can't bare to watch it.

Well that and all the inappropriate sexually innuendo the song and video represents.

Simpson's "Irresistible" video has to be the ultimate example of a pop star who can't dance.  The dancing is so bad, it's uncomfortable to watch.  It's like watching a drunk girl dance at a party.

Instead of hiding Simpson's dancing skills,  the video showcases just how bad of a dancer she is.

There's more recent examples of pop stars feigning dance skill as well.  Take for instance Katy Perry who tries to dance in her video Hot n' Cold.

Sure she tries to play it off as a joke, but that's probably because she couldn't learn the dance moves.

Then there's the video for the song "Come Hit Me Up" from the movie "Happy Feet."  Clearly this  Gia Farrell person can't dance, but since the song is connected to the movie she has to.

The video employes all the tricks such as focus on back up dancers,  the artist doing a few simple dance moves, quick cuts, and wide shots to hide her lack of dance skills.

The real lesson in all of this is that artists should take Phil Collins's advice and accept when they can't dance.

You're the Man Now Dog

Sean Connery's classic line, "You're the man now dog" from the 2000 movie "Finding Forrester" never gets old.

It's just as funny as the first time I heard it.  Eleven years has done nothing to diminish it.

The YTMND website it inspired is still amusing even though it's basically the endless audio looping of that line.

Nobody inspires urban youth quite like Connery.  If only I had someone like Connery to tell me that I was indeed the man now dog,  life would be so much better.

I mean constantly telling yourself that in the mirror with a faux Connery impression is okay, but it's not the same.