Foreign Titles for American Movies

Movie titles are pretty important as they serve as a kind of introduction to a movie.

They can make a negative or positive first impression on an audience and often provide an indication of the genre and subject of a movie.

I don't think people would love "Pretty Woman" as much if it was called "LA Prostitute" or "Dirty Dancing" if it was named "Statutory Rape Dancing."

Obviously movie studios put a lot of thought into these titles, which is why it's always interesting to see how American film titles sometimes change in foreign countries.

A major difference with foreign titles is that subtlety goes completely out the window.

Forget being clever,  foreign audiences apparently want to know exactly what they're getting even if the title gives away some of the plot.

For instance, the American titled "Adventures in Babysitting" (an underrated classic) gets changed to "A Night on the Town" in the United Kingdom.

It does away with any cleverness to just describe what happens in the movie as simply as possible.  Yet it completely fails to mention babysitting which is the whole point of the movie.

In addition, the U.K. title spoils that most of the plot takes place in the city despite starting out in the suburbs.

Not to mention, it might mislead people into thinking the movie's about prostitutes if they see it on late night TV.

But even that title isn't as bad as the U.K. "Mighty Ducks" title of "Mighty Ducks Are the Champions."  Could you be anymore blunt about what happens?  Besides I prefer the German title "Mighty Ducks - Das Superteam."

Movie titles really get lost in translation in France.  My friend was there in 1999 when he noticed that the forgettable movie "Chill Factor" starring Cuba Gooding Jr. was playing at a movie theater.

Except its French title was "50 degres Fahrenheit."  It is relevant to the movie, but I think it's more "Oh those crazy Americans and their crazy use of Fahrenheit."

At least that's better than the offensive French title of "Rasta Rocket" for "Cool Runnings."  I bet their second choice was "Four Black Guys in a Bobsled."

Even "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" isn't immune to a  foreign title change.  In Spain it's called "All in One Day" and in Argentina it's known as "An Expert in Fun."

Foreign countries should just keep the American movie titles because it's for the best.

I'm actually shocked that "Philadelphia"  kept its title in foreign markets because I thought for sure that would be too vague and some country would rename it "AIDS."

Jesse Heiman Really Does Want to be Jonah Hill

Back in September, I wrote about Jesse Heiman the ubiquitous background actor in TV and film.

Since then,  he's gained notoriety through a youtube video showcasing his numerous appearances.

In my post, I mentioned that he was kind of like a poor man's Jonah Hill.

Apparently I was right about that as Heiman said something similar in an April interview with The Guardian. 

"I'm a character actor... I think I could become one of the great character actors like Jonah Hill."

I was also correct in thinking that Heiman doesn't like Hill.   He met Hill once on a set, and thought Hill was a jerk.  

If I were Hill,  I'd watch my back because Heiman wants his career and will cut him.

Offensive Hair Cubed Yarmulke Commercial

I don't think I'm going out on a limb by saying that marginalizing the Jewish faith in an offensive way is not the best way to sell your awful product.

Add that to the high school production value as well as the poor acting and you have one really bad commercial.

I also don't understand why you would tell someone that you're using a hair replacement product when the whole point is to make it look like it's your real hair.

But apparently that's what sketchy guys who hang out in the park all day do.

Although maybe the whole point was to make it so inappropriate and bad that you remember the commercial.

Cheryl Cole Officially Coming to America as X Factor Judge

Cheryl Cole is finally coming to America as a judge for the US version of "X Factor."  What a week for America.  They got Bin Laden and Cole.

I was ahead of the curve on this because as far back as December 2009, I've been stating my case for her to come to America.

I've reiterated this belief multiple times since then, such as here and here.

For some reason my thoughts turn to Cole during the winter and especially the months of December and January because that's when all my previous posts were.

There's really not much I can say about Cole that I haven't already said.  If you need to find me, I'll be the guy doing this today:

NBC's The Voice: Surprisingly and Strangely Entertaining

I was as pessimistic about "The Voice" as a lot of other people.  The last thing anybody needs is another stupid singing competition.  I had no intention of ever watching it.

The four judges,  Christina Aguilera, Cee-Lo, Adam Levine from Maroon 5, and some guy Blake Shelton sit with their backs turned to the performer, turning around only when they like what they hear.

But last week as I had it on as background noise while doing something else, it was surprisingly and strangely entertaining television.

It's mostly because of Christina Aguilera who's a crazy combination of Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell.  She lacks the ability to hide her true feelings and it's great.

When someone sucks, she can't resist cringing her face.  If a contestant spurns her for another judge, you can see her disgust and anger.  She wants to destroy them.

Especially when a person picks Adam Levine.  There's a good chance Aguilera's going to leap from her chair and bludgeon Levine before the show's over.

Then I had to keep watching when I noticed there was something weird about Cee-Lo's appearance.  It took me awhile, but I discovered what it was: he has short T-Rex arms and small hands.

Forget palming a basketball, I'm not sure he can even palm a baseball.  All this makes it extra creepy when he hits on the women contestants.

If that's not enough, there's also a contestant named Jeff Jenkins who I've nicknamed Angus because of his resemblance to the title character of the vastly underrated 1995 movie "Angus."

Jeff Jenkins or as I call him Angus

That movie was awesome and if you have seen it, you'd know why you have to root for anybody like Angus.

Plus, it's extremely rare to be able to make an "Angus" reference so I support anything that allows me to do so.  I hope James Van Der Beek isn't around to bully and mess up Jenkins though.

Finally, I think I take way more enjoyment than I should from watching none of the judges turn their chairs around for a contestant.