Beyonce's Convincing Argument to Make Kids Exercise and Eat Healthy

As part of Michelle Obama's Let's Move initiative to encourage kids to exercise and eat healthy, Beyonce turns a school cafeteria into a dance party.

Nothing this cool ever happened in my high school cafeteria.  All we had were fights and people yelling "ooooooh."

But the real star of this video is the chubby kid who starts off clapping and then dances in the front with Beyonce.

He's about a second from getting beat up before Beyonce runs out.  I bet this video saved him from getting diabetes, becoming Big Pun, or even worse Mini Daddy.

Charlie Sheen and his Character in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I think we're all tired of Charlie Sheen's nonsense at this point, but I was watching "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"and noticed how similar Sheen is to his character in the film.

It's crazy how much alike they are. Watch the clip above and you'll see what I mean.

He's talking about being there for the drugs, and acting like he's some guru life coach when he's really just a burnout.

He spouts things such as you should worry about yourself instead of other people, and pretty much says you shouldn't get pissed off at people who are "winning" at life like Ferris Bueller.

Now I think it's possible that Sheen is drawing inspiration from his bit character in the movie.  Especially if his behavior is all an act.

Although I don't care how much someone is winning at life, nobody would ever be able to take over a city parade like Ferris Bueller did.

Neil Young Really Needs a Maid

We all don't like to clean and would prefer to have someone else do it, but Neil Young took it to another level.  He wrote a whole song about it.

He could have just put an ad in the paper like a normal person.  

But Young must really want one because I've never seen somebody sing so passionately about needing someone to clean their house. 

I suspect the song is based on the 1833 original "A Man Needs a Slave."

Superman II Not as Good as I Remembered

I really wish I hadn't watched "Superman II" last weekend.  To my dismay, it turned out to be another one of the movies that seemed a lot better as a kid.

I remember loving Superman II although that's apparently because I blocked out everything, but the awesome last 30 minutes, which is full of people getting thrown into Coke signs and Marlboro cigarette  trucks.

The previous hour is boring and slow so that's why I probably forgot about it.

Superman does almost nothing except for stop some French terrorists at the Eiffel Tower in the beginning.  Then he strips himself of his powers for Lois Lane so he can't be Superman anymore.

It's essentially a romantic comedy disguised as Superman for that first hour.  The movie's alternate title could be "Sleepless in Metropolis."

Of course, Lois doesn't try to stop Superman from giving up his powers or think about the millions of people who might die as a result if he does.  She's perfectly content to let him do it.

Then she makes him stop at diner where a powerless Clark Kent gets his ass kicked.

So as someone pointed out to me, the main message of the movie might be that women can ruin anything, even Superman.

But there's also other deficiencies in the movie that I never noticed until now.

1. Superman has random powers he's never used before.  

For instance, he's able to project multiple images of himself and give Lois a memory erasing kiss.  When the hell did he get these powers?

It's not like he needs these extra powers anyway.  But by far the worst power is the saran wrap "S" he pulls from his chest and throws at a bad guy.

It makes no sense at all.  I don't want to see Superman fight with something I use to keep my leftovers fresh for the next day.

2. The Fortress of Solitude doesn't live up to its name

Everybody and their mother finds it and visits.  Is it really that easy to find?  

Lex Luther gets to it in a hot air balloon,  a powerless Superman walks back there in a Members Only jacket, and Luther knows its location so well that he goes back there a second time with General Zod. 

It's about as hard to find as a mall in the suburbs or Disney World.

3. Lois and Clark are bad journalists  

I know it's a minor thing, but they're not even trying to make it look realistic.  They get assigned a story in Niagara Falls by their editor Perry White, don't do it and never check back in with him.

And even though they're journalists, they don't read a paper or watch TV for like a week so they have no idea about General Zod and his minions wreaking havoc on Earth.  What kind of journalists do that?

It's because of lazy people like them that the journalism industry is struggling today.

If only real life was more like "Superman II" then Superman could randomly erase my memory of the boring first 60 minutes of the movie and just have me only remember the action-packed 30 minutes again.